Mom Get a Vase Ready...

As I was answering the phone from Max’s school I thought…maybe the nurse is calling to let me know I need to pick him up because he is sick or maybe the teacher wanted to let me know about something that had gone wrong when he arrived at school. Negative thoughts filled my mind when I answered the call.

Max says, “Mom get a vase ready…I need a vase.”

I need to hold off on that phone conversation and share what came in the mail a month ago. A letter from Max’s school.

Here is what the letter said,

“Dear Student;

CONGRATULATIONS! You are scholastically eligible for membership in the National Honor Society.

Candidates are evaluated on the basis of leadership, service, character and scholarship; if you wish to be considered for membership, your application and teacher recommendations will be evaluated by the National Honor Society officers and adviser, as well as a faculty council. The faculty council will consider each application and will make the final decision for membership into the chapter of the National Honor Society.

Membership in the National Honor Society is a significant academic honor, as well as a personal achievement.

When I read that letter, I thought, they have to be mistaken. They have made a huge mistake. I question myself under my breath, “My son who lives daily with Autism who needs occupational and speech therapy? Who was non-verbal until the age of 5 and needs help with learning how to spell and still believes in Santa?” Tears formed and poured down my face. They have got to be mistaken him for another student.

I folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope and told myself I can’t share this with Max. It would crush him to see they got him mix up with someone else and I figured he wouldn’t know what NHS was anyway. I can’t tell you how many years I have seen the honor roll student list come through my hands and never did I see Max’s name on that list. I have told myself that Max is already a star because he is amazing in his own way. I don’t need to see him on an honor roll list to know he is extra awesome. It wouldn’t make me love him anymore, because I already love who he is.

Who is Max? He is a teenage boy who believes in Christ, loves baseball, swimming and playing the viola. He loves being a Special Olympics Athlete and eating the same foods everyday for breakfast and lunch. He won’t eat any food that is green (he has been that way since he was 2).

 

Well, the weeks passed and early on a Monday morning I felt the spirit tell me to call his school and see if they had accidentally sent that letter to Max. The words “Yes, your son is eligible for NHS.”  Made my heart burn and I realized that was the same day the paperwork needed to be sent in.

When Max arrived home from school I had him fill out the papers. His second grade hand writing was perfectly placed in the right spots. I don’t know if Max realized what NHS stands for and why he was filling out the paper, but I could tell he was thrilled to do so. We spent the next couple of nights talking about what NHS stands for and my hope was he would be accepted.  

Hope and pray was answered when Max finished his phone conversation with me. “Mom I need a vase for my flower. I got into National Honor Society. They gave me a letter and everything. Oh Mom get the vase ready.”  My heart was filled with joy.

When he walked in the door he held the flower like it was the most beautiful thing in the world and the letter was in his hand too. Here is a part of the letter…

Dear Prospective National Honor Society Inductee;

Congratulations! You have been selected for membership in the high school chapter of the National Honor Society. The NHS has worked hard to bring the accomplishments of outstanding students to the attention of parents, teachers, peers and the community. Chapter across the nation strive to give practical meaning to the Society’s goals of service, character, scholastic achievements and leadership.

Unbelievable that Max would receive this letter because when Max was 4 years old I was told he would never achieve the scholastic abilities of a child above 3^rd grade level. I’m pleased to announce Max is in all resource classes and taking algebra. He has been out of an all day self contained class since 7^th grade.

For those of you who have a special needs child like my son Max please don’t let anyone tell you they can’t achieve whatever they want to achieve. I can honestly say I never believe what the child psychologist told us. Autism is a different path of life for Max, but he is seeing that he can reach the same destination as anyone else. Only in a different is type of car and the speed it travels.  

THE PRAYERS HE GIVES and THE REQUEST FOR SENSORY DIET

I always love it when Max gives family prayer. And last week’s prayer is one I want to share. His prayer brought warmth and peace with each word he spoke. He said, "Please bless that angels will open the rays of heaven and come and comfort Grandma." He then waited a few minutes before speaking again. "And please help those people 
who say bad words, to stop saying bad words, and to become mature." 

About two months ago Max asked for the sensory diet. I was shocked that he had requested it after he told me he didn’t want it anymore when he was 11.

The sensory diet was given twice a day from the time he was 3 until 11.

I honestly believe it helped him control his behavior and calmed him.

Over the summer Max wanted hugs ten times or more a day and it didn’t matter where or at what time. Times like when I’m in the middle of cooking or at the store. His way of hugging is to squeeze me so tight I can’t breathe.

Since he has been in school the hugs have decreased and I believe what has 
helped is him carrying a backpack all day at school.

The sensory diet that I have been giving him consist of applying deep pressure against the skin, combined with stimulating the receptors in the joints, this is calming for Max. He always takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as I apply my body weight to his back. Now that he weighs as much as me I need to find another 
form of applying the deep compression to his body.

I wish I could borrow Temple Grandin's squeeze machine. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hug_machine

I think I will research making him a weighted blanket. I have wondered why this sensory issue has come back in full force. The blessing is the behaviors have not.

I have asked his occupational therapist and did research of my own.

Finding it often happens when puberty comes.

Has anyone else had their child who lives with autism request sensory diet
 or hugs when they reached puberty?

  

Max found a butterfly that didn't want to leave him.

Max loved holding the butterfly he found at Camp LoMia.

He tried to get it to fly, but the beautiful butterfly was happy being in Max's hands. 

Magnificent Max Then and Now

After watching these two videos of Max from different stages of his life (9 and 15) I have realized how much happiness he has brought in our home. Hard to believe he was once non-verbal unable to share his thoughts and feelings.

Magnificent Max finished hiking Mount Whitney.

Magnificent Max At Nine Years Old

Mama, I’m Ten Times Stronger

Max has been a delight this summer. His days have been occupied with playing his IPod, watching his favorite show Lab Rats, Karate lessons, Special Olympics swim practice and preparing for his High Adventure trip to Mount Whitney. (Some days he practice the viola)

Weeks before his trip to Mount Whitney, we worked on what supplies he would need and how to pack it in his backpack. As we collected the items, I struggled with the idea of him going on the five day trip without a rehabilitation worker, but with prayer and faith, I knew he would be fine. Days before he left I spent restless nights concerned about him hiking a 14,000 elevation mountain with a 50lbs weighted backpack. Thoughts of how would he repack his sleeping bag, how would he remember to change his socks,
or take his medication? So many questions stirred my emotions.

Max needs daily prompts with applying deodorant, brushing his teeth and hair plus many other reminders throughout the day. I thought how is he ever going to make it, would he be a burden to the leaders and would he be able to keep up with the other scouts? Unsure how to deal with these uneasy feelings I put trust in the Lord that He would help me to push these negative questions out of my mind.

One negative thought that lingered and made me want to question Max on if he really wanted to go, but before I asked him, I felt a need to share with Max what this trip required of him. So, we watched videos of hikers on Mount Whitney. I explain that there would be lots of switch backs to hike while carrying his heavy backpack. He still answered with a smile on his face, “Mom I want to go, I want to do it.”

To do it was the question I wondered about, to hike without a rehabilitation worker? I spent hours with Max packing and repacking his backpack. I packed with optimism he would remember. After each drill of packing his backpack I thought about other teenagers his age, including my two older sons when they were teenagers and how they never needed my help packing. I told myself to stop comparing Max to others.

Sunday at church there were two scouts that spoke and shared the detail information of how the trip went. I focused on each word soaking in the detailed information that my son could not tell me. I asked Max what happened on the trip. He responded with, “Mom, I’m ten times stronger than I was before Mount Whitney and now I’m ready to serve a mission.” I loved his response, but wanted to hear what the hike was like, or did he see anything that was extraordinary. Did he have a hard time or problems sleeping? I did find from empting out his backpack that he forgot to take his allergy medication. He forgot to change his socks and clothes. He didn’t eat all the meals I put individual plastic bags. When he called the morning he was traveling home he said, “Mom the only part of my body I have washed is my hands with wipes.” He asked me to put him on speaker phone so he could talk to Malachi and share his experience of the week. He said, “Malachi, I know what it was like for you in Russia. I know what it’s like to walk in Siberia because I hiked in cold weather fifty miles and my hands got numb.” His voice was filled with excitement and joy that he had experience what his brother had on his two year mission to Siberia, Russia.

The blessing of this Mount Whitney trip was not only for Max, but for me. I learned that God does answer our prayers. He answered mine through two men in our church. These two men a father and son served with kindness to guide Max through the Mount Whitney experience. They were angels sent to give the added help that Max needed. As I reflect on how often I have doubted that the Lord hears my prayers, this trial of letting Max go helped me. It gave me an opportunity to trust in the Lord and not ever doubt that
He doesn’t hear my prayers.

Max is a happy go lucky young man, who lives with no guile or deceit. I look back on the toddler years and see how far he has come. There were times when he was young I never thought he would talk or be able to live the life he has lived. I never dreamed he would be the kind young man that he became. The aggressive behavior he had as a young boy has vanished from him.

For those who struggle with a young child who lives daily with Autism hold on, because the journey becomes priceless as the years roll forward. All the hours of speech, occupational, and music therapy have paid off and are still paying off. Never doubt, never doubt what your child who lives with autism can achieve, because I know they can achieve more than you will ever dream of.
 The key to success is prayer and faith in our Heavenly Father.

The father and son who helped Max told me a story about Max on the trip.

Here is what they said, “Max was using the restroom and when he came out he couldn’t find his backpack. He looked and looked for it and finally we told him someone took it. Max said Oh darn. We then told him we had taken it across the river and it was waiting for him. He never got upset or angry.
He was always happy.”

A quote from Max. "God made the mountains that I hiked on. The mountains are God's temple."