Max Got Braces

Yesterday, after we walked out of the orthodontist office Max was sure to let me know he had been embraced with braces. He sure has a sense of humor. On the way home he kept asking me if he will ever get use to wearing braces. The last 48 hours have been difficult and he won’t eat anything besides homemade banana bread and soup.

Max takes everything literally and when the orthodontist told him to not eat anything sticky, chewy, crunchy or hard he has decided not to eat. Why you ask, because Max believes everything is sticky, chewy, crunchy and hard. The orthodontist gave him a paper with pictures of everything he should not eat and drink and one was no sugar products. So he has decided not to drink pop or juices.

Max likes routines and one of his routines is to take the same food for lunch every day. He has been taking the same thing for lunch for the last three years. Now that he has braces his routine will be disrupted because he can’t eat corn chip with homemade Salsa anymore, his favorite.

We have been watching several YouTube videos on how to floss and brush braces. Hopefully this will  help him get a better idea of how to floss and brush. I have always been the one to floss his teeth because he can't figure out how to do it. I hope in time he will learn.  So our nightly routine will be changing too with longer dental care.

My prayer is he will eat and get use to the braces.

Mom Get a Vase Ready...

As I was answering the phone from Max’s school I thought…maybe the nurse is calling to let me know I need to pick him up because he is sick or maybe the teacher wanted to let me know about something that had gone wrong when he arrived at school. Negative thoughts filled my mind when I answered the call.

Max says, “Mom get a vase ready…I need a vase.”

I need to hold off on that phone conversation and share what came in the mail a month ago. A letter from Max’s school.

Here is what the letter said,

“Dear Student;

CONGRATULATIONS! You are scholastically eligible for membership in the National Honor Society.

Candidates are evaluated on the basis of leadership, service, character and scholarship; if you wish to be considered for membership, your application and teacher recommendations will be evaluated by the National Honor Society officers and adviser, as well as a faculty council. The faculty council will consider each application and will make the final decision for membership into the chapter of the National Honor Society.

Membership in the National Honor Society is a significant academic honor, as well as a personal achievement.

When I read that letter, I thought, they have to be mistaken. They have made a huge mistake. I question myself under my breath, “My son who lives daily with Autism who needs occupational and speech therapy? Who was non-verbal until the age of 5 and needs help with learning how to spell and still believes in Santa?” Tears formed and poured down my face. They have got to be mistaken him for another student.

I folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope and told myself I can’t share this with Max. It would crush him to see they got him mix up with someone else and I figured he wouldn’t know what NHS was anyway. I can’t tell you how many years I have seen the honor roll student list come through my hands and never did I see Max’s name on that list. I have told myself that Max is already a star because he is amazing in his own way. I don’t need to see him on an honor roll list to know he is extra awesome. It wouldn’t make me love him anymore, because I already love who he is.

Who is Max? He is a teenage boy who believes in Christ, loves baseball, swimming and playing the viola. He loves being a Special Olympics Athlete and eating the same foods everyday for breakfast and lunch. He won’t eat any food that is green (he has been that way since he was 2).

 

Well, the weeks passed and early on a Monday morning I felt the spirit tell me to call his school and see if they had accidentally sent that letter to Max. The words “Yes, your son is eligible for NHS.”  Made my heart burn and I realized that was the same day the paperwork needed to be sent in.

When Max arrived home from school I had him fill out the papers. His second grade hand writing was perfectly placed in the right spots. I don’t know if Max realized what NHS stands for and why he was filling out the paper, but I could tell he was thrilled to do so. We spent the next couple of nights talking about what NHS stands for and my hope was he would be accepted.  

Hope and pray was answered when Max finished his phone conversation with me. “Mom I need a vase for my flower. I got into National Honor Society. They gave me a letter and everything. Oh Mom get the vase ready.”  My heart was filled with joy.

When he walked in the door he held the flower like it was the most beautiful thing in the world and the letter was in his hand too. Here is a part of the letter…

Dear Prospective National Honor Society Inductee;

Congratulations! You have been selected for membership in the high school chapter of the National Honor Society. The NHS has worked hard to bring the accomplishments of outstanding students to the attention of parents, teachers, peers and the community. Chapter across the nation strive to give practical meaning to the Society’s goals of service, character, scholastic achievements and leadership.

Unbelievable that Max would receive this letter because when Max was 4 years old I was told he would never achieve the scholastic abilities of a child above 3^rd grade level. I’m pleased to announce Max is in all resource classes and taking algebra. He has been out of an all day self contained class since 7^th grade.

For those of you who have a special needs child like my son Max please don’t let anyone tell you they can’t achieve whatever they want to achieve. I can honestly say I never believe what the child psychologist told us. Autism is a different path of life for Max, but he is seeing that he can reach the same destination as anyone else. Only in a different is type of car and the speed it travels.  

The Blessings Of Having A Teenager With Autism

Ten  Eleven Awesome Reasons Why Max Is Magnificent  

1.       He calls me on his bus ride home every day. He says, “Mom, I want to tell you something. I love you.”

2.       He never tries to lie or cheat. When I ask him a question he will answer truthfully even when he knows he did something wrong. It’s remarkable.

3.       He follows directions and obeys rules. A week ago, we were driving over to celebrate his Grandma’s birthday. We had a pot of chili in the back of the van. Max was asked by his father to unbuckle at the stop light to quickly check to see if the lid was still on the pot. Max response was,  "Dad I don’t want you to get a ticket and it’s not safe for me to unbuckle. Do you want me to die dad? I will die if I unbuckle and you will get a ticket from a policeman. Do you want me to have a funeral dad?” Max’s dad agreed and that was the end of the story. My other children would have jumped at the opportunity to unbuckle and check the food.  For the next 15 minutes Max kept explaining that he felt bad that he can’t disobey the rules.

4.       He always has a smile and loves to laugh at whatever is being said.

5.       He will ask the most unique questions. “Mom what does nude mean?” After he is told what the definition for nude is. He has a comeback with… “So when you shower you are nude and when you have clothes on you are ude.” Everyone got a kick out of it and Max invented a new word. “Ude”.  Max is so cleaver.

6.       Max is affectionate. He will put his arm around me at church and hold my hand. He loves to give hugs. When he was little the only way to get him to sleep was to roll him tight in a heavy blanket and rock him. He loved being held tight.

7.       Every night he likes me to tuck him in bed and turn the light off. He will wrap his baby blanket (I made the blanket when he was little) around his head when he is sleeping.

8.       He tries to keep up with practicing the viola and reading scriptures. We started reading the Doctrine and Covenants a week before school to give him a head start for seminary. It’s a requirement for the school year for him to read this book. After school started he came home and said, “I have to read Joseph Smith History before I can read anything else.”

9.       When we went to meet the teacher night at school the math teacher and the seminary teacher said Max loves to talk. I was shocked because when Max was little he was non-verbal until the age of five. He had no language and was not able to express anything he needed or wanted. The only way I could figure out what he needed was when he banged his head on the floor or screamed. What a blessing it is that he is able to use words and express what he wants and needs. He has come a long way and now he tells me he loves me. I cried the first time he said Mom.

10.   There are so many other awesome things about having a teenager with autism and I will continue to share them. Max has been a source of strength to many people including me. He has been a light and an example of how I should strive to be. Thank you Max for letting me be your mother.

11.   One last thing…I have been blessed with four other amazing children, two son in laws, one daughter in law and three grandchildren. My magnificent grandson has autism and has been an added strength to our family and to me.  Max loves his nephew and enjoys being with him. Max understands that they both have been blessed with learning to cope with having autism. I asked Max a week ago how does it feel to have autism and he said, “Mom it’s hard, it’s so hard. People don’t understand me.”

 Max at Camp Lo Mia

 

 



Max in a Commercial !!!

Max was in a commercial for

AZ Law Enforcement Torch Run.

Here is the video of Max and a Phoenix Police Officer sharing

 how awesome

 Special Olympics is.

Max shows his medals that he has won.

 http://youtu.be/04k0lzrQIbk

Life With Max... At the Age of Thirteen

Max makes everyday worth living.

He says the most beautiful, warm hearted things. Like...

"Mom you should be a happy woman, because I accomplished a lot.

I vacuum my room, I did the extreme course and that is pretty much it."
or
"Mom when you have your clothes on you are ude and when you have your clothes off you are nude."

A couple of months ago after family prayer, Max told me I was a blessing from God.

Max will be fourteen in less than a week.
I have tried to figure out the best way to celebrate and I have come up empty handed. He really truly has no friends he can count on. He has never had a desire to call someone on the phone to have a get together. I take that back he loves talking to his friend Irvine who is a man who worked with Max when he was little.
He has never had the same wants and needs that my other four children had when they were 13-14. I want to throw him a birthday party with his friends, but I wouldn't know who to invite.
 He wants to have a Minecraft party where everyone dresses up like a Minecraft. I am not sure how to put that into action.
Breaks my heart to even think about it. I want Max to be normal, but he is normal in his own way.
He is a joy and a blessing.
I want him to experience life like my other four children did, but I know that isn't possible.
Here is a recap of his first year at being a teenager.
He has kept me on my toes,

with his activities in karate,

swim team, baseball, orchestra, scouts.

He earned the Town Council Citizenship Award given by
the Mayor John Lewis
of Gilbert. 

 He swam on the Special Olympics Gilbert Roadrunners swim team.

Max swimming in the relay.

Max bought the Gold in for his team.

He has been interviewed and will be in a commercial for

 Special Olympics.

Here is the officer who interviewed Max

Max and I went ice skating and he loved it.

Max went to his first hockey game and watched the Coyotes...

we both had a awesome time.

He got to meet the players and Mascot who visited us in the suite and signed his ticket.

 Eating pizza while watching the game.

 

  He is active in karate and has earned his green belt.
 

  

He has held two positions in Deacons Quorum, Secretary and First Counselor.

It warms my heart each Sunday to watch him show the Deacons the chart of where they are to pass the Sacrament.

He has sang the National Anthem at the Diamondback baseball game,

he has held a banner in a parade,

he has given the Special Olympic Oath at a Opening Ceremony and talked with the Mayor of Goodyear.
Max thinks the city of Goodyear always has a good day, week, and year because it's Goodyear.

Max and the Goodyear Mayor Georgia Lord.

 

Max has been active in the School Orchestra and has been in several concerts one that was at the State Fair.
 

After they performed they went on the rides.
 Max is in the green swing near the pole

Max had fun driving the bummer cars.

He went on all the rides with Tabitha.

Max has played basketball with the Phoenix Suns on their court.

Max had first Viola Recital

Max was able to be in the Cultural Celebration for the Gilbert Temple. He came home many times wanting to close him self down in his bed with a blanket over his head and  playing Minecraft on his iPod.

He would say, "Mom I need to be strong and handle all the people around me.

It's hard mom, it's hard."

When I saw the pictures of the Cultural Celebration I noticed Max was alone, by himself. He is not able to carry a conversation unless it's on a subject 

he likes to talk about.

 
His clothes were wet and dirty from dancing on the field for the Prophet
at the Cultural Celebration.

He came home soaked to the bone. His hands were ice cubes.

This is what the field looked like that he danced on.

Never did I think Max would be where he is today. 
When Max was little he banged his head on the floor, screamed, climbed in the dryer, ripped the living room curtains down and the pictures off the walls.
He couldn't talk or express what he was thinking.
 The behavior that was the hardest to have him break was trying to stop him from pulling clothes off the hangers. 
There are many more behaviors, I could talk about, but they are gone now left our life.

I remember his first grade teacher refusing to him in her class. I guess he hit her, flip a table and threw a toy at another student.
 She missed out on a wonderful little boy who grew out of those behaviors.

The teacher that accepted the challenges with Max was Ms. Sheri. She was an amazing lady who helped Max develop. She ended up being his 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade teacher.
I never ever thought Max would be able to have the experiences he has had.
The therapies, behavioral specialist, hab workers, special ed teachers and his siblings and in-laws have been a wonderful strength in helping him develop
into an amazing young man.

When people would ask me how many children I had, I would always say,
 "I have two boys, two girls and a Max."

 Max has taught me patience.

He has helped me to see that even with disabilities
he has desires, wants and needs like everyone else.

Max spoke at a stake youth fireside on genealogy.
He did an awesome job sharing what genealogy means to him.

I always wondered if Max would ever say a word when he was little...

And now he can speak and express what he feels.

Never did I think that would happen.
He is a gift from God.

Its A Hundred And Five

Every morning before the bus arrives. Max has to search on my I-pad for the forecast for the day. This morning he read that it was going to be 105 or higher and cloud cover.

I love how he will ask the same questions at the breakfast table each morning. "Mom is it going to rain today?"  And each day I give him the same answer. "I don't think so."

Today while we sat on the couch and waited for the bus we looked at the next week forecast. He liked it when there was a little cloud with blue lines coming down out of them on the forecast below the temperature. When the bus arrived he jumped up and ran to his bedroom going in the opposite direction of the front door.

I call him to come and warned him the bus might leave without him. After about two minutes of calling him. He leisurely walked into the living room and had one arm in the sleeve of his thick coat and was getting ready to put it completely on.

I asked him why he felt a need to take the jacket. His response was. "Mom it might rain and I don't want to get wet." Somehow I was able to convince him to leave without his coat in hand and make it to the bus carrying only his back pack and viola.

Years ago when Max was about seven maybe a little older. He would always want to wear a thick jacket when playing outside when it was a hundred plus degrees. I had learned to pack up those winter clothes before the heat struck the valley of the Sun. Over the years I had grown more relaxed and stopped packing up those winter clothes. I guess I'm going to have to pack them up again and hope for the best.

I honestly can say there is never a dull moment with Max. I love every second, minute and hour of the day with him. He is one amazing young man.

I'm grateful for Max and I feel blessed to have him.

Max's Dream

"Mom's this is Max, can I stay after school?"

I took a deep breath before responding and realized he wasn't due home from school for another three hours.

"Mom I need to stay after school for Baseball tryouts."

Before I could get a word in his teacher spoke.

"Tonight at 6:30 there is a meeting for the students to be involved with sports. Max wants to come and be on the baseball team."

The phone went dead...yes three months ago I dropped it in water while I was soaking my toe. Silence was all I heard while I held the phone to my ear and rushed quickly down to the basement to get the other phone.

After I called his teacher back we discussed how difficult it would be for Max to be on a typical team and compete. Plus, Max doesn't know the rules or guidelines for playing baseball. He is talented though with hitting a ball and he can catch a ball.

Right before we ended the conversation we both came to the realization that the school team wouldn’t be a good fit. We thought of other ideas like having him be a ball boy, but I knew in my heart he wouldn't want to sit on the sideline watching others hit the ball or run from one base to the other.

Disappointment was definitely in both of our voices. It tore me into pieces knowing that I had to tell Max that the school team wouldn’t be the best for him.

 

Special Olympics here we come!

Birthday Fun with Preston and Grandma!

Last weekend was Max's nephew's Yo Gabba Gabba one year Birthday party. Everyone wore their swim suit and a Yo Gabba Gabba shirt for the awesome occasion.  The birthday started at eight, but we got there 7:30 on a beautiful Saturday morning. Decorations were amazing that Max's sister in law Haylee made and the food was delicious. Max had fun playing on the splash pad with his nephew.  

After eating, singing Happy Birthday and watching his nephew unwrapped his gifts we left for home. 

Max

 

Max helping Preston and Haylee open the gift we bought him.

Later that day we drove to cooler weather to see Grandma and celebrate her 80th Birthday. Max loved listening to my Ipod on the way and was disappointed when the battery ran out. Didn't bring a charger with us. Darn!

 

Max's Aunt Debra invited us to go to the Mortimer Family Farm to see the animals, corn fields and other attractions before Grandma's celebration. Max and I rode the Train Barrel ride and it was a blast. His Uncle Darrel drove the tracker and pulled us all over the farm. Max wanted to sit in the very back barrel and I sat about four barrels in front of him. When we finished our barrel train ride we jump out quickly and headed straight for the hayride. Max sat next to his Aunt Vivian and brother Malachi. Aunt Vivian asked him how did he like the barrel ride and Max response was

"It was like a roller coaster ride." 

 Uncle Darrel telling Max he was going to get him.

 

Max having fun with his Uncle Darrel

Max on a tracker

 

 

 

Later that evening we went out to eat with Aunt Terese, Aunt Delia, Aunt Vivian, Aunt Debra, Uncle Darrel, Debra's parents, Max's dad, brother and Grandma to

Texas Road House.

Max ordered Mac & Cheese and a hamburger. After our experience with Max on our last excursion to a restaurant where he order seven different dinner plates without the waiter telling us he did. We were seated at a different booth with Michael and Haylee. Malachi and him were seated at the another. When we got up to leave we noticed seven plates in front of him. He ate food off of only one of the plates. That was one expensive breakfast. Learned my lesson...need to make sure to be with him when he orders food.   

 

 Max loves Grandma

 

What a blessing it was to celebrate both Grandma Reynolds 80th and Preston's one year birthday.  It was a joyous busy day...Max slept the whole way home.

 

Tuesday'S Breakfast with STRAWBERRIES!

Max's bus arrives at 6:55am and that has been the norm for Max since the age of three. The ticket for Max to have a successful morning is making sure everything is in order before I even wake him up. Make sure his egg is in the pan, toast in the toaster and milk poured. For about two months now I have been letting Max pick out his own clothes combinations.  Shirt and shorts. After twelve and half years of dressing him, I'm glad we graduated to the next step.  For the most part Max does a awesome job. Sometimes though, he feels if his pants have a pattern in them, so should the shirt. I feel blessed that he can now dress himself. 
*Hooray* 

This morning was off to a good start. Max walked into the kitchen put his red apron on and sat at the table. I have struggled these last six months to find a jam or jelly that he would like, to no avail.  I decided to do what I did as a kid. A little sprinkle of sugar. Max loves to talk about random stuff and while he observed his strawberries on his plate he anxiously shared he had homework.

"Oh, did you sign my PE form...I need my tennis shoes." Max returns to the table with shoes in hand. "I have to take my shoes today."

I took a deep breath and exhaled with discouragement. His dirty shoes sat near my feet.  I failed as a mom, not catching earlier how dirty his tennis shoes were after Boys Scout camp. "Max, Mom needs to wash them before you can take them. I will send a note to the PE coach about the shoes."

Max moved his body in my direction. "Mom I have to have my shoes and you need to sign my paper." 

I stopped myself from looking at the clock, knowing the bus should be here in the next couple of minutes.

Max continues holding the strawberries.  "Mom these strawberries have mold on them. Look mom, look at these strawberries. I can't eat them they will make me sick. Why can't you buy the good ones at the store mom, the ones that are good?" 

I contemplated whether I could put on the mean hat and tell him he needs to eat it or should I place the gentle hat on and tell him he doesn't have to eat it. I told myself several times over the years that I can't let him get away with everything because of the autism.

"Max you have been upset with me when I don't buy you strawberries and now you won't eat the ones I buy.  You have to eat.  You are a big boy now and you need to eat what is on your plate."

Max holds up the strawberry.  "Look at the mold mom.  Look how moldy it is."

Max had two strawberries on his plate and time was passing quickly. He still needed to finish his homework, brush his hair and teeth, and I needed to get his lunch in his back pack.

"Max, I would never give you strawberries with mold on them. You need to eat one of them."

I was proud that he took the strawberry and ate it.

He quickly moved to the other side of the table where I had his homework. Max has a hard time using a pencil because he pushes to hard on the paper and ripes it. I have bought mechanical pencils for him hoping it would help. He placed the mechanical pencil in his hand."Mom there is no lead in this pencil. I frantically look in my pencil box near the telephone. "Use this one."

Max runs his fingers over the paper. "What do I do on this paper, Mom?" 

I read it out loud. "What is the best way for you to learn?"  Right next to the question Max had printed the word "tactile".  I guess he wrote that in class yesterday.

"Well Max what helps you to learn? I think you like to touch the item and feel if it's hard or soft. You like to look at it to see how it's made. Think about your Lego's and how you decide to build your buildings and airplanes."

"Mom this is not what I mean. I can't understand what the question is."

"Max it's asking you how do you best learn or understand stuff. Are you a visual learner, hands on learner or do you like to read the instructions?"

Max got very frustrated and dropped the pencil on the table. His eyes met mine with a overwhelming need for help with the question. I decided the time was running out and I heard the engine the bus was at our doorstep.  I picked up the paper place it in his folder and told him to finish it at school. 

Then I placed his lunch sack in his back pack and we walked to the restroom to brush his hair and teeth. When he walked out the front door with the viola strap and back pack on his shoulder.  I was pleased that he has grown into the sweet loving boy that once was difficult to handle. He continues to take one step forward and two steps back, but in my heart he has grown two steps forward and one step back.

Sunday he asked me what charity meant and what does it mean to be humble. Honestly I believe those are two words that describe my Magnificent Max.