Friday, May 27, 2011
I have autism.
My heart felt like it broke into several pieces when Max looked up at me and spoke minutes before walking into occupational therapy.
“Mom I know why I go to therapy, because I have autism and you want me to be typical.”
I stood frozen unable to move and my face felt like all the blood had rushed to it. Tears formed and a smile developed as I return an answer. “Max I love you just the way you are. You have therapies to learn skills, so you will be successful when you get older.”
He acted low-spirited and gave me a confused expression. “Okay mom, I’ll go.”
Max is still learning how to hold a pencil correctly while using the right amount of pressure. He writes at the level of a first grader. His reading level is almost at third grade and he is proud of the fact he can read at 2.6 grade level. When I took him to the library he was sure to tell the librarian he can read at 2.6 grade level.
God has blessed me with a choice spirit. God has given me encouragement to cope with several long hours of therapies on a weekly base. Yes, I have complained of how tired I am of taking him. I realized today it’s not just challenging on me, it’s difficult on Max. Today I became conscious that he is tired of them too.
I believe the therapies have helped him to function on a higher level than I ever dreamed of. Doctors, and physiologist have told me he would never be able to function above a third grade level. I have faith, if I continue to press forward with determination Max will someday be an intellectual man like his older two brothers.
Max is truly a gift to me from God.