Monday, November 28, 2011
Max's Talk
Max gave a talk in primary yesterday. Tears escaped my eyes as I listen to him read his talk. It was the first time he gave a talk without me helping him. It’s hard to believe a year and half ago he couldn’t read at all. Now he can read, write, and loves math. The way I wrote his talk was by asking how he tries to be reverent at church, home and school. When you read the talk it’s his own words of how he tries to be reverent.
Max’s talkMy talk is on how reverence for God helps me respect and love others.
First I want to tell you what reverence means. It's when you have a feeling or attidude of deep respect with a regard for others. Reverence makes you feel calm, happy, and have peace. When I'm reverent I feel excited, because of a happy feeling I have.
Here are some ideas on how I have tried to be reverent.
At church the way I try to be reverent is by being quiet, seated nicely, not running in the church building, I know if I ran in the church building it would make God sad. I try to listen to the teachers and read scriptures. When I think of Heavenly Father it helps peace dwell my heart and I can behave easier. When I’m at home I try to be reverent by not hitting others, by doing what my mother and dad tells me. When my parents ask me to clean my room or clean the table I do it right away. When I pray and read scriptures it helps me to feel God near. I only listen to music that God when want me to hear. I only watch movies that invite a good spirit and not a bad one. I try always to tell others thank you or you’re welcome because it helps me feel closer to Heavenly Father.
At school I try to be reverent by not hitting or saying bad words. I try not to say things that will hurt others feelings. I listen to my teacher, even though it’s hard sometimes. When my teacher gives me a school work I try to do it. I try to never yell or scream at others. Even at school I always try to say thank you to my teacher and friends. I know it helps me to be grateful.
When I get upset with my school teacher or friend I take a deep breath and breathe in and breathe out. I pray for help to be nice. I think of primary songs that have words that will help me chose the right. Like the song,” I tried to be kind to everyone for that is right you see, so I say to myself remember this, kindness begins with me.”
It is not enough to behave reverently; we must feel it in our hearts. Reverent behavior without a reverent attitude is empty of meaning if it is performed only for the praise from others. When I am praying, going to church and living the commandments I’m showing reverence to God. When I show reverence to God it helps me have a desire to respect and love others.
Reverence is something we feel inside no matter what is going on around us. It is a personal responsibility. We cannot blame others for disturbing our reverent attitudes.
When I’m reverent I feel calm and relaxed. I’m thankful for a loving Heavenly Father and for Jesus Christ who are an example of how I should be. I hope each one of us can be an example to others by showing reverence to our Heavenly Father.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Sandwiched between love.
I’m grateful Max is the youngest of our family. He has been blessed with two older brothers who are a wonderful example. There are a thousand reasons why it’s been a blessing for Max.
One reason is he has more than one sibling. I realized throughout Max’s elementary years he was and is one of the only classmates that have more than one sibling. Most parents when they find out they have a special needs child decide on only one more child to complete their family. For me, I can see how hard it would have been if Max was my first born child. Max ran off into intersections daily, tore my curtain, pulled my pictures off the walls. He punched his hand through the living room window and dismantled the window screen. He didn’t sleep through the night until he was seven or eight years old. My life was constantly unsettled.
I see how grateful I should be for the strength I had to manage the best I could. I prayed daily for good judgment of how to carry out my daily activities to provide for my other children and Max. I know my children sacrificed, went without my help several times throughout their childhood years. I look back and see how each day was a battle with how to cope with autism in my son’s life in our family. I owe my children a lot for their love towards Max. They have been heroes, they have taught him by example of what matters. They have shown him how to be who he is today. Max mimics what his brothers do, from cleaning, to movies they watch, from habits they develop. Max’s oldest brother Michael has a family of his own and Max observes how his brother treats and cares for his own son Preston. Malachi is always there to help him practice his viola and give him encouragement. Max doesn’t have the upper body strength to hold the viola for very long, but Malachi cheers him on to try. Malachi guides him, loves him, and treats him like an older brother should. I love my three sons and two sons in laws. They have all been an added blessing in Max’s life.
I need to convey how much I appreciate my daughters and daughter in law. They have been a source of deep strength to me. Each daughter has given Max a genuine love of feeling wanted. Max always talks about each one of his siblings and siblings in laws. Max loves their ideas, words of comfort and time they spend explaining a word or subject. They say it takes a community to raise a child. For me, it’s taken more than the community; it’s taken my brilliant children to help raise Max.
I want thank, Michael and Haylee, Melissa and Blake, Miriam and Bryce, Malachi, and my husband. I’m beginning to see the light at the end of tunnel. Max is magnificent and he shows each day I have him.
Yesterday Max prayed for the homeless to be happy, be safe and those around them will love them.
I want thank, Michael and Haylee, Melissa and Blake, Miriam and Bryce, Malachi, and my husband. I’m beginning to see the light at the end of tunnel. Max is magnificent and he shows each day I have him.
Max has taught me, that I can climb a hill carrying a thousand pound rock on my back, with bare feet.
I love you Max. I dearly love you. Good luck on your play at school tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Question from Max
Tonight at the dinner table, Max asked me if I was born when Abraham Lincoln was President.
I told him no.
He moved his hands above his head. "Who was President when you were born?"
"Lyndon Johnson."
His eyes glared at me. "Is he alive?"
"No Max he isn't."
"Well then Mom, you need to go visit his grave."
Last week Max kept asking me if we can visit Uncle Grant's grave. He repeated this sentence until I finally told him his grave is in Utah far away from here.
I told him no.
He moved his hands above his head. "Who was President when you were born?"
"Lyndon Johnson."
His eyes glared at me. "Is he alive?"
"No Max he isn't."
"Well then Mom, you need to go visit his grave."
Last week Max kept asking me if we can visit Uncle Grant's grave. He repeated this sentence until I finally told him his grave is in Utah far away from here.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
"Mama why are you blind?"
It finally happened. The question I have been asked all my life was finally asked by Max this morning. A question I didn’t believe would be asked from him for years to come.
I knelt in front of Max and tied his left shoe and then looked up at him. Words he spoke pierce my soul when he gazed into my eyes. “Mama, can you see anything out of your blind eye?” I finished tying his shoes and gave a solid smile. “I don’t see anything out of my blind eye. Place your right hand over your right eye.”
Max pushed his hand up against his eye and looked around his bedroom.
“Can you see anything out of it Max?”
“No.”
"Well, that is what Mom sees, nothing.”
He pulled his hand away from his eye. “I wouldn’t like that.”
Five minutes later he started up with a new conversation at the breakfast table. He steadily spoke between spoonfuls of his cereal.
“The homeless get in danger if we didn’t help them. They would be out of control and we don’t want them out of control. If they go out of control they will think we are killing them. We bless them now or two days here that we need to bless them. Two days. “
“What are you thinking about Max?”
“Video games.”
“Why video games.”
“Wii video games that we have. Nintendo is a game system, isn’t it Mama.”
“Yes it is.”
“I’m thinking about school right now, why are you like that Mama? Thinking about the Rattle Snake that was scary and crazy like a skill athlete, but not really a skilled athlete.” Max ate his last spoonful. “Mama, you need to get a MMR shot so you can see out of your eye.”
I placed my pen down and pondered a few seconds before I answer Max. “But, the MMR shot won’t help me. It just stops you from getting the German measles and I have already had that.”
He quickly response as though he found a solution to my blind eye issue. “Would Tylenol Work?”
I placed my hand under my chin and rested it on the table. “To do what?”
“Would Tylenol make your eye better?”
“No.”
His puzzled expression warmed my heart. Then what will?”
I took a sigh before I responded. “Nothing will make my eye better. ”
“But why? The only way to get better, what do you have to do actually?
My voice softened. “Well, there is nothing I can do. It’s damaged, it’s broken.”
Max got up and placed his apron over the back of the chair. “Is it like a window, a tree or a car?”
“What do you mean like a window, tree or car?”
Max through his hands in the air. “Do you have to leave it, like a window you have to leave it? What’s blinding mean?”
“The word blind means dark can’t see out of it.”
“Where is the German measles? We need to take it out of you. It may help you not to be blind. Would you like that Mama? Are you made blind?”
“You see Max; each one of us is given a trial in life. Mine is having congenital rubella syndrome that has given me birth defects with, vision and hearing. You were given Autism, but we both can still accomplish whatever are dreams are. We both are awesome people.”
I guided Max to the restroom so he could brush his teeth before the bus came. “What do you mean?”
“Why were you made that way? What type of shots did they have when you were a baby?
"They didn’t have a lot of shots when I was a baby. "
"Were you crying a lot when you where a baby?”
“Yes.”
“When I was a baby did I open my eyes all the time? Did I cry a lot when Malachi turned up the music really loud? Did I cry like, waa, waa, like Preston?”
I tried to write this word by word of what Max said.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Blessing the homeless
The last two days Max has been praying for the homeless. Asking Heavenly Father to keep them safe and help them have a place to be happy. That they will be loved by everyone and we can love them too.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
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