Crying, frustration and why?

Since last Thursday Max has been crying at school on the days he goes to the math class. Max loves math and enjoys telling you math facts.  I can't understand though why he is crying. I have been communicating with his teacher and she can't put her finger on it either. 
The last couple of days I have been worried about how he is going to handle junior high.  Next year he will start seventh grade at a new school, new students and new world for him.  I have this desire to capture him and place him in a enviroment where know one can hurt or say things that will make him feel like he is of no worth. 

life is some time hard

allosaurus

at math i had a hard time becase i was stuck on 4 divide by 442.
this is max typing.
that is a picture of an allosaurus.

Being Bullied

Last Thursday was a new beginning for Max and me. He came home extremely upset and had no desire to do anything. I read Max’s communication log from the teacher and found that he had cried profusely at school in the cafeteria. I asked him about thirty minutes after he came home, and had some relax time what had happened at school to make him cry.  It’s not common for Max to cry at school. 

I recorded on video what he said, but I promised him I would not post it on his blog. I do want to share this horrible experience with you. Those of you who have a special needs child or typical child I’m sure have dealt with this same issue. I’m sure you understand how difficult this is to even write about.

Max attends a fourth grade typical class once a day for about an hour for math. He is doing well with the math and enjoys learning new concepts, but after Thursday’s class he has been upset. This is what he told me that happened. "Iwent over to some girls and asked them to help me with the long division. The girls told me to go ask the boys. So I went over to the table with four boys and they told me no. They talked in a different language and I asked them what type of language they were talking. They said we are talking Italian."

That is about all Max could relate to me of what happened. If Max was a typical eleven year old he would have been able to tell me their names, what they all said and what really happened. He did tell me that the teacher left the room or went to the door, so I guess there was no supervision.

 My heart is heavy. Why must Max be subjected to intimidation and rejection? I knew sometime in the near future he would have to deal with being bullied, but I just wish it didn’t happen for another couple of years.

Friday he told me he had the diarrhea and can’t go to school. He begged me to stay home and told me he didn’t want to go to that math class. 

When our eyes connected he had tears with a sweet voice that pierce my heart. “Mom I’m not like them, they are rude and mean. Why are they mean to me?”

I tried to explain to him that there will be people that aren’t nice to him. I told him I had it happened to me when I was little and even now I have had people be mean to me. He looked at me with a puzzled face as if what I was saying was not logical. 

Tomorrow the teacher is going to send an aide with Max. I am worried that these kids in this typical class have labeled him, with a label we all don’t want our kids to have.

Max doesn’t have any real friends. What are real friend anyway?  What are friends for?  Why do we have them? I have asked myself often what is a real friend. Then when I asked Max who he wants to come to his birthday party he said with a smile. “My friends.”

I got anxious to hear him name off friends from school or church.  “What are your friends names?”

He didn’t have to think he just spilled out names faster than I could intake them. “My brothers, sisters, my aunts and uncles and that is it.” 

My chest began to burn and my eyes filled with tears at the thought his friends are his aunts and uncle and his brothers and sisters.

I wish I could put a shield of armor on Max to protect him from getting hurt, but I know that isn’t possible. Hard part about being a parents is watching your child be left out of the circle and not feeling like they fit in. 

My daughter took these pictures of Max while on a walk around our neighborhood. I love these pictures. 

Max acting out "Home Alone."

I love this picture and wanted to share.

Pictures of Christmas.

Max on Christmas Day.

 Max happy that his ship is put together.

Malachi helped him and it took all day. 

Max talking to his nephew Preston. 

Max getting help from Bryce (his brother-in-law) 

with how to work his new camera.

movies that i like

i am  going to tell you what,s my favorite movie is lord of the rings

Satan stink!

                                             Max on Christmas Eve.

Max wanted me to take him to a bird shop to see the birds last Saturday. When we arrived the shop had a sign stating they had closed. A hundred questions came out of Max of why did they close down. Why aren't they open? I tried to explain to him that the economy is not good and so stores and places are going out of business.

I was shocked when that evening during dinner prayer Max spoke up interrupting the person giving the prayer. He said, Excuse me, please bless the economy." Since that prayer each time we have prayer Max prayers for the economy to get better.

On Sunday after church Max and I were sitting at the table eating my homemade salsa and corn chips. I loved moments like this where we were together and I especially liked it when he would bring up a subject on something I had not thought about. Max taps my arm.

"You know what is bad about Satan Mom?"

"What is bad about Satan?"

Max swallows his chip before he speaks. "What is bad about Satan is his breath stinks and he is really rude and impolite and he talks garbage."

I got up to get a dishcloth to  wipe up the salsa on the table that Max had dropped. When I pulled out the chair to sit down I gave max a puzzled look. "Really?"

Max dipped a chip into the salsa bowl. "He says bad words and makes me think bad things about people."

I pondered a few seconds before I spoke. " Satan doesn't want anyone to be happy. He wants us to do things that are wrong and mean."

Max got up and looked at me before he went to get a cup of water. "I don't like Satan even if he is Jesus' brother."

Max is something else. My grandfather often told me, "Max is going to be a joy years down the road. He will brighten your days with wonderful thoughts." 
You know, my grandfather was right he is a blessing and joy. I will never forget when I took Max over to meet Grandpa. He was unable to stay still and wouldn't slow down enough for me to enjoy visiting with Grandpa. Grandpa could tell I was frustrated and wanted a break. So he wrote me a note days later after our visit and express how years later I would see the reward of Max's sweet spirit.

Max loves to dance.

Didn't realize how much Max loved to dance until New Years Eve night.  I let him dress in whatever he wanted as long as it was warm enough to wear to his cousin's reception in Prescott.  I thought I would post a couple of pictures of him dancing at the reception. 
I plan on video taping him acting out his favorite part of the Home Alone for you to see.  He loves Macaulay Culkin and dreams of being a movie star like him someday.  Max has watched Home Alone about 50 times in the past month.  He keeps asking me if you have to be a certain age to be a movie star. 

                                              Max sleeping on the drive up.

                                         Max letting me take a picture of him.

                             Some of Max's cousin's children asking him to dance.

                                       Max dancing with his cousin's daughter.

                                                Max dancing the night way.


I think Max did well at picking out his outfit for the reception. Don't you think so? On the way up to Prescott I rode in the back with Max while my oldest son drove.  Max fell asleep on the drive up.  I guess it's a good thing, because it gave him energy to dance all night long. Max is the youngest grandchild of 17 on his dad's side of the family.  Most of Max's cousins are married with children even older than him.  Some of Max's cousins children kept following him around at the dance and he loved it.  He danced with his aunt's also.  He was only able to squeeze one dance in with me.