Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Max and I at a beach in Washington, when he was three years old. 

 The results of Max's school Honor Roll list jabbed at my heart. I took a deep breath and then scanned the list for Max's name. The pain in my heart became more intense with the realization that Max's name would never be on a honor roll list. My tears began to form and  I believed and hoped it would magically appear, but I knew it wasn't possible. I have had a habit to look at the honor roll list since my oldest, who is now 27, was a youth. To observe each one of my children's names on the deans list or honor roll was a comfort to me. A list that announced my child had an interest in learning and had more intellect than others. I believe it's a list that shows that their child likes to read, write or learn everything and anything they can. 

 My children didn't have to work hard to make the honor roll. My oldest  at the age of five took an algebra class at ASU and passed it with flying colors. I feel blessed that God has given me the opportunity to raise such intellectual children and then He gave me the pleasure to raise Max. Each one of my children have been  a source of strength and pure joy. 

Max might never have to do a science project or a long draw out book report like my other kids. The nights of staying up late helping my children put their science boards together seem like a dream to me now. Instead my hours are spent sitting in waiting rooms while he has therapy, or listening to him express his thoughts on subjects he really doesn't understand. I love listening to Max's prayers they are filled with compassion. He is always asking God to help him not be tempted by the devil and that he can make good decisions. 

Magnificent Max, my sweet loving son who didn't make the honor roll list, who probably doesn't even know what the honor roll is. In my heart he has made the honor roll. He brings honor to our home.  He brings a loving spirit of kindness, gentleness and pure innocence.  I can honestly say he made a better list. He has enriched my life in more ways that I ever thought possible. He has taught me the most important list to be on, is one of compassion, love, and respect for others.  

How blessed I've been with five remarkable children. I love each one of them. 
Last night Max and I shared a bowl of popcorn and watched Polar Express. Max still believes in Santa!  
I need to stop typing.  My tears are dripping on the keyboard. 

1 comment:

  1. I have misty eyes, too. Yes, you have remarkable kids, Pam. So glad I have had a part in their lives. Max is on an Honor Roll, Pam--The Lord's Honor Roll. His is such a special spirit. I wished he could have met my 2 autistic grandnephews--they deal with very similar matters at younger ages, but those situations are very real, trying, hurtful at times. Love you, Max! Sis. Reed