Max and I

Yesterday Max and I went to the grocery store to buy milk and a few other items.  While I was self checking out he kept on asking me  "Mom what are we doing later today?"

I don't know why, but I felt overwhelmed with his question and knew it wasn't common for me to get so uptight with him. I am usually very calm. I felt a need to hurry and leave the store. So I didn't pay much attention to what Max was asking. 

Max moved closer to me and put his weight on the scale of the self check out counter. (He has never understood the reason of why I don't want him to touch it.)

"Max stand away from the scale please so I can finish and we can leave."
He quickly moved away and tapped my arm. "Mom what are we doing later today?"

I was scanning my fourth gallon of milk and for some reason I couldn't focus. "Max let me finish and then I will answer your question."

Max touched the scanner again making it to were the cashier had to come over and see what was going on. "Mom why are are you acting like this? Why won't you answer me?"

 I had this urge to lay on the floor and scream while kicking my legs and shaking my arms like a toddler. But being an adult I knew that was out of the question. Max tugged at my shirt like a little boy would and yell out. "Mom what are we doing today?" 

I seriously came close to throwing my money in the air and walking out the door, but I knew I couldn't do that either. My hands shook as I tried to focus on what way to place the money in feeder so it would accept it.

I realized as I left the store that Max still is a little boy. It's been hard to see him grow physically, but in someways he is still a little five year old.

Under my breath and almost a whisper I said a prayer to help me calm down and realized there was no reason to be upset. I guess after Max asking me before we even arrived at the store, then while we shopped and then while we checked out I never could answer him.

Max believes once you say it you have to mean it. So I guess I never answered him, because I didn't know what to say. I knew in my heart what he wanted to hear is, 'Oh we are going to the Lego's store.' 

Max has taught me to value life and see the good in others. He has helped me to deal with problems in ways I didn't think I ever would have learned without the trials I have had with him. He is a blessing and joy. 

When we got home I sat with him and explain he had scouts and needed to have dinner before he left. I think he was disappointed and sad.  I knew if I would have told him at the store while I was checking out it would have been more frustrating than it already was. He would have then started to ask me, "Why, why can't I go to the Lego store?" 

No Drinks for Max

Max was lucky to have his brother Malachi go with him to scout camp and help him. If it wasn't for Malachi, Max would of been a lost sheep among the boys. Malachi told me that Max complained often about having dirty feet.

On the way up to camp and on the way home, Max had to use the restroom several times. I think the leaders realized no more drinks for Max.

Max went to Scout Camp!

                                 Malachi and Max leaving for Camp Raymond.

I got seven merit badges they were First Aid, Swimming, Environmental Science, Geology, Forestry, Soil & Water Conservation and Mammal Study.                 

Environmental Science I had  to do observations and  write about flowers on Friday. And mammal study I had to do a report on a mammals. Swimming I had to do swim. First aid I had to learn how to do fix injury and health problem and I was very thirsty.

Max Dancing!

Max acting in a drama camp play. He played the king.

SUMMER FUN!

DANCING, SINGING, ACTING
Max has been attending a drama camp this week with typical children. The director has a son with autism and she was thrilled Max wanted to come. I think it was nice of her to let him.
It's been a thrill to have him come home from drama camp and say, "I did good today."  It warms my heart to have him so happy.
Today is the performance and I can't wait to watch him perform.
This is the first time Max has ever been apart of an event for typical children outside of our church group and I think he has done very well.
Yesterday while I was cooking him an egg and toast (french toast is what Max calls it) he about came unglued when it tasted different then usual. He figured out that I put butter on his french toast instead of margarine.  He refused to eat it and enjoyed feeding it to our dog. 
"Mom that french toast was not good, I want you to use the right stuff next time, please?"
MAX + APPEARANCE
 Max and I went shopping for a pair of black shoes for the play. I was taken back by how Max was more worried about how the shoes looked than how they felt when he walked in them. I guess puberty is beginning to show it's ugly face. In the past couple of weeks Max has had more interest in his appearance. He always wants to have his hair like Malachi's and he will beg Malachi to style his hair. Thank you Malachi for taking the time to help Max.
The other day when Max was getting out of the shower he kept asking me questions. "What does puberty mean? How will my body change?" I told him his voice will get deeper, his armpits will grow hair, and he will need to take better care with washing his face when he takes a shower. (Max is already made this a habit.)
I'm so glad I introduced anti-perspirant to him a year ago. He won't leave anywhere with using it. Yay Max!
ANSWERING ME?
Lately Max has had a hard time responding to my questions. I have noticed it takes him twice as long as usual to answer me. This morning it took him five minutes to let me know what he wanted to drink for breakfast. I remember when he was eight and younger having a problem with responding to my questions. I guess we are having a relaps.
I sure do love him though and feel blessed to have him in my life. He is a joy!

MAX AND PENNIE

Graduate Max

The day before the last day of school Max's teacher sent home a note about a graduation for Max and all the other sixth graders.  At the graduation I witness Max walking across the stage to receive a promotion certificate.  I couldn't believe that Max  was the same child I rocked all night long for many years, just because he wouldn't sleep through the night. That he was the same little boy who screamed at the drop of a hat and took hours to calm down. As he walked down the stairs of the stage I didn't feel that same desire I had when he was about eight and younger to run after him and stop him from entering a busy intersections.

Yes, Max has graduated from elementary school. For him to graduate is not the same as it is for a typical child.  For Max it means he has graduated from running out into a busy intersection, he has graduated from beating his head against the window and pulling my curtains off the rod. He has learned to read, write. He has found passion for  math. Even though it's not at grade level he has come a long way. He has become a sweet loving boy who no longer takes his shoes off to throw them at me while I'm driving. I felt a great sense of accomplishment watching him take those steps across the stage and told myself those years of him throwing items at me while I drove have been worth it. The hours I have sat in therapy waiting rooms and all the long MET's and IEP's are paying off.  He has come so far.  He might not be a honor student or have the award for most likely to succeed, but he has in my eyes become a honor to have in my life and a wonderful son who has shown me that success is to love and to be loving to others.  What greater reward can anyone ever wish for?

That same day Max's older brother, Malachi, graduated from high school so it was an amazing day.  A day I will Cherish.

It's hard to believe Max is now moving forward in a world that isn't completely at his liking.  An ideal world for Max is Wii, Avatar, and Lego's.

I look back and realize how much God helped me through the tough years of him being unmanageable.  The years of rolling him up in a blanket and rocking him as he screamed directly into my ear.  The years of wishing he was typical and able to be like all the other children his age. I have learned to love Max just the way he is. I wouldn't want him any other way. I love how innocent Max is. How he sees life as a little child who loves the simple things in life.

                                        In my eyes, he is perfect and priceless.

As his mother, I do worry about how he will deal with seventh grade.  How he will handle the teenager years.  How will he adjust to girls, bullying, competition, and gossip.  I know that a lot of that teenage drama will go right over his head, but then I see he is very intellectual and will pick up on others and how they treat him.  My hope is he will have friends who truly like him and not because they want to use or hurt him.